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Six-Word Lessons for Project ManagersThe One Nugget Report from The Project Management Advisor™
Issue 2010-05 - Asking For Help

As a child and young adult I was very independent.  Regardless of the situation, if I was doing something I was determined to do it myself and not ask for anyone's help.  In my eyes asking for someone's help was akin to admitting defeat or somehow showing others that I was weak or incompetent.   My attitude was "If someone else can do it, I can do it".   How Naive.



Now I am a Father of two beautiful children.  My daughter is wiser at 19 than I was at that age.  If she is having difficulty with something she promptly asks for help and willingly accepts it.  She's a lot like her mother in that regard.  My son at 17 is a lot more like me; in his mind asking for help is a form of "giving in" and somehow shows him as weak.  We had an incident this weekend which underscored his being a chip-off-the-old-block.  He was in a drama performance at his high school on Friday night.   After the performance many of the kids decided to go out for an after-performance snack.  My son decided to go but got lost looking for the restaurant.  He drove around for over an hour trying to find the place but didn't find it.  He ended up coming home disappointed that he missed out on the social time. 



The next morning, my wife and I talked to him about what happened.  I asked him several times, "Why didn't you call us for help?"  To him, that would have been a sign of weakness as he decided to forge ahead on his own without soliciting our assistance.  We stressed to him the importance of asking for help, that asking for help is not a foolish thing; not asking for help when you really need it is foolish.  As Cat Stevens sings in Cats in the Cradle "My boy's just like me; he's grown up just like me".



As PM's, there is plenty of times where the problems we face warrant us asking for help.  Too often the cry for help either comes too late or not at all because the PM wants to try to work his way out of the jam without admitting he is over his head.  Then there are times when the PM throws up the flare at the slightest hint of a problem and doesn't even try to solve a problem herself.  She immediately dumps the problem at her boss'  footstep expecting the boss to solve her problem for her.  Either way the ask for help was inappropriately used by the PM.

My one nugget to you is this:  when you get into a sticky situation on a project, don't be afraid to ask for help from others that have similar or more experience than you.  Do a quick assessment of the problem, decide if you've got the experience to solve the problem on your own, then either move forward with solving the problem, ask for advice from a colleague on how they would handle the problem, or ask for help because the problem is bigger than you are.   Going it alone just means that there may be a bigger mess to clean up later because the mole-hill you tried to fix yourself has grown into a mountain.




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The Project Management Advisor™ Report Archive

2010-26 - Developing High Potential (HIPO) Leaders

2010-25 - Nailing That Interview

2010-24 - Regaining Trust

2010-23 - Relax, the Audience is Rooting for You



2010-22 - Project Management Screw-Up 1 - We weren’t addressing the right problem

2010-21 - More Cloud Computing Articles updates

2010-20 - How Could This Happen? Avoid Project Screw-Ups for You and Your Business Partner

2010-19 - Drive a Tight Agenda, Don't Let it Drive You

2010-18 - Watch the Pontificator!

2010-17 - Managing Cross-Organizational Teams 



2010-16 - Team Building: Some Assembly Required

2010-15 - Am I Meant to Mentor?

2010-14 - Managing Project Risks and Issues

2010-13 - Project Management Screw-Up 7 - We Didn't Involve The Right People

2010-12 - Practical Pillars of Success

2010-11 - The "Get Your Point Across in 30 Seconds Status Report"



2010-10 - More Cloud Computing Articles

2010-09 - They Actually Pay Me To Do This?

2010-08 - Leading that Virtual Team

2010-07 - Squashing the Procrastination Demon

2010-06 - Cloud Computing Articles

2010-05 - Asking for Help

2010-04 - Bedside Manner and the PM

2010-03 - Nervous Nellie PM's



2010-02 - "Morning After" Decision Making

2010-01 - Not all Thought Leaders Are Great People Leaders

2009-39 - Empowerment - Problem Ownership = Errand Runner

2009-38 - I'll Be Done Friday, Honest!  Six Techniques to Ensure Solid Project Management Execution

2009-37 - How Could This Happen? Avoid Project Screw-Ups for You and Your Business Partner.

2009-36 - One Less Meeting Gets You Home In Time For Dinner

2009-35 - When Are You Coming Home? Five Practical Tips To Realizing Work/Life Balance

2009-34 - In Search of the Good Enough Leader

2009-33 - Getting Invited Back for a Second Interview



2009-32 - Six Takeaways to be a Better Public Speaker

2009-31 - It Takes Two to Tango:  Great Sponsor + Great PM = Great Success Slide Deck

2009-30 - It Takes Two to Tango:  Great Sponsor + Great PM = Great Success Part 1



2009-29 - Be Accessible, Not Open Door

2009-28 - The Seven Deadly Sins of Leadership

2009-27 - Six-Word Lessons for Project Managers

2009-26 - Attributes of an Effective Project Manager

2009-25 - Twitter and Flight of the Buffalo

2009-24 - Can You Make a 2AM Meeting?

2009-23 - Hot Air Balloon or Guided Missile?

2009-22 - It Takes Two to Tango:  Great Sponsor + Great PM = Great Success Part III

2009-21 - It Takes Two to Tango:  Great Sponsor + Great PM = Great Success Part II



2009-20 - It Takes Two to Tango:  Great Sponsor + Great PM = Great Success Part 1

2009-19 - How to Succeed Under an Insecure Leader

2009-18 - Ten Differences Between an Insecure Leader and a Secure Leader

2009-17 - Building a Purpose-Driven Resume

2009-16 - Be a PM Closer

2009-15 - Challenge Minus Inspiration Equals Mediocrity

2009-14 - The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch 



2009-13 - Why Don't They Follow Me?  12 Easy Lessons to Boost Your Leadership Skills 

2009-12 - Mastering Credibility Part III:  It's How You Deliver Results 

2009-11 - Mastering Credibility Part II:  It's The Relationships You Build 

2009-10 - Mastering Credibility Part I:  It's What You Know 

2009-09 - Babbling is for Babies, Not Interviews

2009-08 - Getting Job Alerts at The Project Management Jobs Career Center



2009-07 - The Project Management Jobs Career Center is now open!

2009-06 - You Can't Over-Prepare For An Interview

2009-05 - Critical Thinking Drills Influence Hiring Decisions

2009-04 - Impress First, Then Talk Compensation



2009-03 - Project-Management-Jobs.info launched!

2009-02 - Great Quotes On Leadership

2009-01 - Don't Embellish Your Credentials

December 1 2008   - The Truth About Getting Your Point Across...And Nothing But The Truth

November 15 2008 - Our Fallibility as Leaders...Defining a Meaningful Workplan in MS Project...ZAPP!  The Lightning of Empowerment



November 1 2008  - Getting Invited Back for a Second Interview...A Complimentary Status Report Template...The Wal-Mart Effect

October 15 2008  - Managing Outsourced Relationships...Making Sense of Calendars in Microsoft Project...Surviving an Aneurysm

October 1 2008  - Diffusing Conflict Between Co-Workers...The Perfect Brainstorm: Getting The Most Out Of Brainstorming Sessions ...Go Green, Live Rich

September 15 2008  - Using Project Guides to Define Your Project in MS Project...The Top Ten Attributes of a Great Project Sponsor...Hail to the Chiefs:  United States President Mischief, Morals, and Malarkey from George W. to George W.

September 1 2008  - Replacing a Project Manager Mid-Flight...30 Tips to a More Fulfilling Dinnertime with Your Family ...Healthy Living - You The Owners Manual - An Insider's Guide to the Body That Will Make You Healthier and Younger

August 15 2008  - Putting Some Balance in the Work Life Balance Equation...How An Autistic Child Changed A Career for the Better...The Kindergarten Adventures of Amazing Grace:  What in the Word is Autism?



April 2008 - Complimentary Self-Study Seminars, Webcasts, and Resources...Setting Yourself Apart From Your Colleagues...The Good and The Bad of Virtual Meetings...Smarts Minus Direction Equals Absent-Minded Professor...Small Business Made Simple Co-Author Spotlight:  Bill Stride...Ebay and the Project Manager...Be a Better People Leader

March 2008 - Motivating Employees...Practical Interview Etiquette... Ten Tips to Boost Your Facilitation Skills... Freud and The Small Business Owner... Of Mice and Motivation... Be a Better Process Leader

February 2008 - The Shift From a Process to a Project Focus...Politically Aware Doesn't Mean Politically Motivated...Getting Serious About Balancing Work and Family...Eight Crucial Questions You Need to Answer to Successfully Exit a Small Business...Five Simple Strategies To Unify Your Project Teams...Be a Better Planner
Project Management Resources from The Project Management Advisor









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